The Culmination of a Lot of Efforts

Good evening all, and my apologies for, once again, being inconsistent in blog terms. My "once-a-week" has, this semester, quickly become a "once-in-a-while," and for that I am sorry. If I've said in my previous posts that life here was crazy, I was speaking in ignorance of the true meaning of the word. And so, though I now hesitate to give the past two weeks the same label in case of some greater craziness to come, I think I can confidantly say that they have been a whirlwind and a half... or two whirlwinds.

And so, what to say? The most prominent theme of the past two weeks has, undoubtedly, been that of homework. Essentially, the first of the past two weeks was spent in the finishing of a couple assignments and the half-hearted preparation for finishing of further assignments following a reading break adventure. Indeed, half-hearted may be an exaggeration. Little success was to be had in the preparatory realm. This was followed by a scatter-brained, rushed 4 am start on Thursday morning to trek to the good land of Saskatchewan and all the adventures awaiting us there at YQ. I will summarize the bus ride in a few brief words: long, tiring, challenging, restless, surprising, inefficient, and typically enjoyable. YQ was a fun-filled weekend in the frigid heart of my beloved homeland. I got to see my parents and sister, to visit with old and new friends, and to return to a sense of the real world and what being a Christian therein actually entails. I have been living in a bubble for a long time. It was nice to get out and to test the new perspectives I've claimed to have gained here at Kaleo. And so, after a weekend of less sleep than the drive out, we embarked on the drive back. I contracted a head cold, we sprinted to make our ferry Amazing Race style, and returned back here at school to tackle a long list of academic duties.

More or less, accomplishing these class requirements was what has constituted most of my time since then. Though I am now basking in the freedom of coming out the other side still alive, I will say that it was a tight squeeze. I have written 5 papers, read 3 of the Gospels, and two novels in less than two weeks. Someone call Guiness - I think I have a new world record! In the least, I can say to you most confidently now that I am capable of most anything, and to back this up with some Scripture: "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." (Phil. 4:13) In fact, now that I am somewhat idle and should be enjoying a sense of relaxation, I feel quite aimless. You know it's bad when you don't remember how to NOT be busy. Nonetheless, I would be lying to say I am not marvelling in this burgeoning week of few responsibilities. Life is good.

And so, there is little more to say than that Sunday was also a day of fulness and life, or perhaps a magnification of my recent lack thereof due to exhaustion. Church in the morning and the Bridge in the evening followed the suit of weeks previous. Also, shockingly, I somehow managed to remain completely stress-free amidst my duties that day, despite the threat of several due dates threatening upon my return to school Sunday evening. God is teaching me how He sustains. How grateful I am that He continues to manifest Himself so evidently every week to me. Furthermore, as we were sitting in church, a friend of mine gazed at me and commented, "You love this church, don't you?"

To be honest with you, I was shocked by my reply. I do. I never expected to; I don't think I ever even hoped to. And yet, somewhere in the midst of being challenged and uncomfortable and humbled, I have grown into a love for that tiny building and the people that occupy it each week. With this realization came a pang of heartbreak; I have approximately 4 weeks left at Cobblehill. 4 weeks that are going to fly by... and then, I leave this place and those people and am forced to reflect upon my time there. Have I invested into these people as much as Christ has called me to? How have I been selfish and ignorant in my ministry? What have I really learned? I am faced with the fact that that quickly approaching day is going to be a humbling one. And so, I am motivated. I hope and pray that I will make the most of this last month. I hope and pray that God will use me... that He HAS used me, and that my personal glory has not gotten in the way of that. Join me in prayer for this church community and for my time there. The clock is ticking.

Here I sit in the midst of our second-last class week: Gospels. I am loving it. I have reached the culmination of two weeks of scholastic efforts; of two weeks of late nights and distracted avoidance of the task at hand. I'm on the up and up. And...I am leaving for New York City in less than a week. I have a lot on mind, and yet no knowledge of defining or expressing it. And so, I will close. I love and miss you all. Eternal thank-you's for your prayers and support.

Blessings,
Jess