The Down-Low

Hello all.

And so, here I am again, writing this blog at the last minute.. or past that, but with much to report on this time around. My most sincere apologies if your heads are spinning after reading this - believe me, mine has been whilst adventuring through these activities. And as much as I'd love to indulge you all in the inner workings and contemplations of my heart and mind these days, I fear you are all in desperate need of a legitimate update on my activities of late.

Hm.. where to start? Well, as mentioned last week, I returned to school from Christmas holidays with a schedule packed to the rafters. This schedule has persisted, has overwhelmed, and has challenged me over the last days, yet it has been endured and, for the most part, hurriedly enjoyed. Our first week back was filled largely with enthusiastic and heartfelt reunions, while also, during the days, delving into our largely ill-prepared-for class on the theology of mission. Sunday was filled with joyous hugs and smiles as we Cobblehillers caught up with our ministry church, and we once again held the Bridge in the evening.

I know, I know.. I have it pretty rough at this school of mine and I'm sure you're all feeling enthusiastically sympathetic towards me as I participate in adventure after adventure, but week two of semester two was spent in a ski chalet on a mountainside at Mount Washington, towards the north of the island. For five days we descended upon this resort, tearing up the runs with our respective snowboards and skiis. Yours truly posed as snowboarder chick supreme, but the fun didn't stop there. We also took a day to go snowshoeing in the backcountry of the mountains and to build snow quincies. It was pretty invigorating to get an opportunity to unabashedly act like a ten-year-old again, playing in the snow that I think I've taken for granted most of my life. When we weren't out on the hill, we were hot-tubbing at the chalet, eating spectacular food, chatting with peers, or participating in some great group dynamic-building chapels in which we were given the opportunity to share our dreams and plans for the future and to encourage and build one another up. All in all, it was perhaps my favorite Kaleo week thus far, but I must report on our injury count for this little outtrip. I hope it will not taint your view of the experience.

Injury tally: 2 broken arms (inflicted upon my two dear roommates Jay and Mal; let's just say I've been busy in the room lately with such simple tasks as doing up pants and pouring shampoo), 1 concussion, and 1 nearly amputated finger that was restitched on with 12 stitches. The adrenalin and danger of this risky business was somehow quite tangible to us. The weekend following this escapade passed quite uneventfully, with much relief by all.

And now, I find myself upon this past week. For the most part, there is little to report. Count your blessings, dear ones. With one day of Theology class with my pastor from Cobblehill, some group worship and chapels, and some lovely afternoon skating, we were here given the opportunity to somewhat catch up on sleep, homework, life and love. One evening was spent eating New York hot dogs and watching a documentary film on Metro Ministries, an organization myself and about 10 others are travelling to the inner city of the Brooklyn projects to work with in mid March for two weeks for a short-term missions opportunity. If you all could be praying for our group as we prepare for this adventure of more vast proportions than typical, it would be so appreciated. Pray for unity and bonding among our team members especially in these upcoming months, and that all the funding we require would fall into place. For more information on this trip, please just ask. I'd love to tell you more.

This weekend, again, sought to test the limits of the definition of busyness. From Thursday til Monday, we participated in a 24/4 week of prayer, modelled after our 24/7 week of prayer in the first semester. Saturday was spent sleeping and on homework, and then we Cobblehillers enjoyed an evening birthday party and sleepover for our pastor's son. Sunday was a constant rushing from responsibility to responsibility, as I attended church, did lunch dishes, wrote an entire paper in 2 hours (HURRAH for procrastination!..although I've been told I mention that theme too often), again prepared, practiced for and held the Bridge, and hurried home to pray in the prayer room. Through days like this the Lord has been faithfully teaching me His complete and perfect sustainment. Sometimes, I'll go into these Sundays feeling overwhelmed, and attempt to do everything out of my own power and strength, imperfect and lacking as it is. Over and over again, Christ hems me in on these days, and somehow allows me to enjoy the busyness and see His glory in it all. Christ is humbling me and forcing me to kneel before Him as I struggle through. He is confirming again and again that Cobblehill is where I belong and where I am to be used, and even though it is challenging and uncomfortable for me, He is showing me that this is not about me and what I can get out of ministry. It is all about His glory and what I can pour into this church to make that glory known.

As you can see, its been a good run of activities the last while, and again I apologize for my neglect of keeping you all informed. There's so much more I could say, but I'm sure you've all already missed some sort of previous engagement due to committing the time to read this. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your committed prayers and support. I love and miss you all. More next week. Shout outs this week go to my parents in Florida (get tan you two!) and to darling Renee-nay on her birthday (much love dear babe!).

So long,

Jess

So This Is The New Year.....

which means saying hello again to Kaleo and the prospect of coastal living! Brace yourselves - there are intriguing adventures to update upon.

Due in many ways to my own neglect, this post is extremely late. My most sincere apologies to any avid followers. Let's chalk it up to my attempts at returning to my insurpassable scholastic focus that was so evident last semester. Anyways, enough excuses. Here I sit, in my chair that I usually write these posts from, scratching dried peanut butter from my shift key, with an untidy mess of scattered garments strewn about me and a stack of stimulating textbooks I can scarcely keep my hands off of. Feel glad I tore myself away from them long enough for this. Please sense my sarcasm. Quite apart from this, though, I am feeling reminiscent and reflective. I am considering the events and lessons of last year, and looking forward with bright eyes and hopeful glances towards the future. There is excitement and enthusiasm within me. I feel a transition coming on; perhaps one more stark and affecting than those gradual ones I constantly encounter. Don't ask me what this means, or what is to be expected, but bask in this glorious moment of the unknown with me. Isn't it invigorating?

And so, what all to say? There are only so many things I can say about my holidays: they were wonderful, they were yearning, they were heart-breaking, they were heart-warming, they were restful, they were busy, they were challenging, they were easy,... full, empty, encouraging, aching - essentially, a contradiction of the greatest proportions. I loved being home with my family, catching up with friends, partaking in all of the stereotypical holiday traditions that I gushed over in previous posts. I marvelled at returning to semi-normal sleeping patterns. I ate hearty, home-cooked meals and read for pleasure. I played in the snow and hid away from the cold.

All at the same time, I missed this ocean-side dwelling of mine; I felt an ache in my heart that something significant was missing. I felt a melancholy I am scarcely accustomed to, a desperation for something great and challenging and purposeful and worthy. I clung to Jesus in a way I barely knew I had the capability of doing, with a hunger and thirst for His word and His presence. In many ways, it was a miniature journey of self-discovery, perhaps more accurately classified as a jaunt. It is wonderful, but it is exhausting and challenging, and, to a lesser extent, it has carried on into life here. I am learning - to seek solace, to be dependent on Him, to retrieve a passion. My time was tainted with an underlying, and unexpected, realization that I have lost my sense of belonging in that place. It will always be home, but I think I am recognizing a strange new desire and strength within me for something new, different, intriguing, purposeful. Don't get me wrong: Kaleo is all of these things. But beyond this year, I yearn for that again. I am growing less comfortable with the proposition of having a comfort zone.

And so, there you have it: a few of the thoughts and conjectures of my soul as of late. I scarcely know what to do with them, and I scarcely know if I've even communicated them to you all in a way that is remotely comprehensible. But regardless, if you all could continue to pray for and with me as I delve into these heart-stirrings, I would be forever indebted. I hope you are a fraction as excited as I am to see God move.

Beyond this, there are many things I should be blogging about, like my ministry here, or the snowboard trip I just returned from in which both of my roommates broke their arms, or a certain missions trip to NYC I'm embarking on in a couple months, but I'm not going to. Not now. Expect a new post within the next few days with updates on all that I'm actually getting marked on. Thanks again and always for your support and prayers. I am sending love and blessings your way.
-Jess